There is a kid sitting in my class who believes he can deceive us all. He is the type of student /man/human being, that everyone hates. He always raises his had at completely inopportune occasions and I think to myself "Oh shit not again. Id rather punch myself in the face, repeatedly, with a staple gun, than listen to this sorry excuse for a person utter another incompetent, incoherent, word." Obviously, I am not the only one who thinks like this because as I gaze at my peers, all of them in a class of over 150, and I mean everyone, I leave absolutely no one out, I find them looking around blankly at each other in search of words to describe their complete confusion as to why this dumb ass dares to raise his hand. And oh no, this is not the first time we have been graced with his all knowing presence, no sir, he raises his hand after almost all comments to add in his worthless two cents. He always sits in the front of the classroom just to piss you off. I think he believes that he is smarter than all the other people ( in the world) and there for deserves to correct the professor who has studied the topic religiously for years. He always sits near me and continuously coughs as if he is near death from FUCKING EMPHYSEMA; Is he 80? Does he not know how to cover his mouth? How did he get into this university, I mean arent their any requirements? I have worked and spent time learning applicable knowledge to use in my life. I have been accepted to this fine establishment of higher learning under the pretense that I would not have to deal with the sperm that once crawled upon my crotch in high school. Apparently, I was vastly mistaken and those vagabond minds have been thrown into a pool with me and I am drowning in their pee. Kids like this make me want to vomit my internal organs out onto a plate and feed them to my dogs. Wouldnt that be tasty? I guess, I just dont understand it. He always knows claims to know everything. Honestly, if he already knows what is being discussed why doesnt he have a fucking PHD? Not only is he a complete jerk but hes got absolutely nothing going for him. Now, I sit in class every other day and watch him routinely do the most foolish things. He, abruptly, pulls out his Altoids and savagely heaves one innocent unsuspecting tab into his mouth. I feel badly for this inanimate object, I really do, that poor little mint is now being devoured by a freakishly stupid ape and only a man like Hitler deserves such punishment. Then, I cannot help but think to myself, why must he make so much noise while eating a mint and in that case the obvious question is; why is he eating a mint ? Girls are never going to get close enough to him to inhale the aroma of his sparkling fresh breath because all of us think that he is a disgusting individual. (vomit fed to my animals just thinking of it) Or, maybe he believes that this will cure his old age disease, or maybe hes just a fucking moron. Basically, the only thing that has girls staring at him are his gorilla like bodily gestures and his hand that often moves towards his head to scratch it. Its as if he is picking out lice or dandruff that have, most likely, resided in his scalp since he was 6. I think I get it, this may explain why he is so stupid. What has happened is that these pests have been eating away at his brain for over 12 years now and have gotten so far into his lobe that he can no longer use it. I know this is far fetched, but it is all I can think of that can explain his mental incapacity.

Like that of the great orator Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I too have a dream. I dream that one day, when civilization is no longer void of thought and emotion and when humanity embraces intelligence instead of brutally rebuffing its new thinkers, this world will rid itself of fellows like this, or at least give them jobs that deal with manual labor, instead of torturing half witted people with their existence in the work place and/or classroom. I pray that something soon, within my childrens life time, will prevent people like him from raping innocent bystanders from subjection to his slow wit and probably borderline retardation. We all know this kid, we all hate this kid. But you know what, I refuse to become less levelheaded because I am in a room with him and his slow-witted genes! He has infested all of our thoughts, taken time from our precious, overpaid professors, and replaced it with unsophisticated questions, for long enough. It is time to take a stand. I propose to kill all of these incompetent oafs. Ok, Im kidding, but God damn, dont these ass holes bother you too?